Second Chance
by Wolflover007
Summary: Jane isn't the only one with scars. Details inside


Happy New Year my dearest readers. Today I have just a one-shot that I had in my head for a while. This is not a happy one just saying. Pull out some tissues.

Warning: EXTREME PHYSICAL ABUSE (CHILD &amp; DOMESTIC)

Title: Second Chance

Idea: An AU in which Maura wasn't adopted by Constance but a different family.

Description: Jane isn't the only one with scars.

* * *

"Hey baby. Ready for tonight?" Jane asked the doctor.

"Yeah baby." Maura said softly.

The pair had been dating for 3 months although they have known each other for 5 years. It was Maura's birthday today and Jane was going to take her to a new restaurant in Dorchester.

"Dress nice Maura. It's one of those places." Jane reminded.

"Ok Jane." Maura said and kissed the detective.

"I'll pick you up at 8." Jane said as she left the office.

* * *

Maura was getting ready. Her hair was down and she had showered. She looked at the suit laying on the bed and smiled. Jane usually wore the suits but Maura had begun wearing them recently as well. She stood in front of the full mirror for a moment but avoided her reflection. She resumed putting her clothes on.

* * *

Jane walked into Maura's house. She was early but came with a bottle of wine to have a drink with the doctor before they left.

"Maura?" Jane called into the empty house.

Jane walked throughout the house. She saw Maura's room had a light peeking out of it. The door was slightly open. Jane quietly opened the door…

* * *

Maura's POV

_The fetal position is an infantile one. It gives peace and represents a mother's love to their child. Mother… My mother tried. Oh how she tried but she couldn't escape that drunken bastard. I still remember the pain. The marks engraved into my back. Each crack of a belt, each beating with the cold wrench and each bit of saliva he'd spit and me when it was over._

_I sighed to myself as I finally break. Years of abuse finally crushed me as I lay on the floor. I can't be strong anymore. I tried for 20 years to forget it but it finally caught up with me. I must look pathetic sobbing over something from years ago. My attempts to be hard and tough failed me. I screamed into the house._

_I chuckled as I can imagined the sight. My father would have said, "Quit crying punk ass" then probably slap my face. A punk ass. That's all I ever was to him. Just a useless punk. I have no idea why the state gave me to him. I'd rather be an orphan forever than go through one more day of that hell. _

_I had tried to end it before. No one would even miss me. No one gave a damn about me. It'd be so easy to just disappear. Poof just gone. Ha-ha. What an easy thought. It's a nice dream._

_Happy fucking birthday me. I thought as I close my eyes._

"_Maura?" I heard a voice but not just any voice. Jane's voice._

_Jane? Shit. How long has she been there? She had to see me break down. I haven't told Jane about my abuse and never showed her the scars. It was better to face it alone and she wouldn't understand anyway. She had a family. Someone who cared about her. Someone she could run to if needed. It must be nice. I still have no idea why Jane chose me. She's way too good for me. She'd probably just run if she knew the truth. No one wants to have that much of a fixer-upper._

"_Go away Jane." I said rolling onto the other side so she couldn't see my face. I didn't deserve to see someone as lovely as her._

"_No" she said._

_I said nothing._

* * *

"I'm not leaving." Jane insisted.

Maura just laid on the ground. Jane walked to her. She knelled down to comfort Maura when Maura snapped. Maura punched Jane hard in the face. Jane was shocked and before she had time to react she heard a gun cock and froze as Maura pointed the gun in her face.

Jane looked up into Maura's eyes. She didn't see love. No she saw anger, she saw violence, she saw a need for revenge and she saw a sadist smirk on Maura's face.

"Maura?" Jane asked quietly.

Maura hit Jane across the face with the gun. Jane laid on the ground too scared to move.

"You want to hurt me you drunk? Now you'll see what it's like." Maura yelled.

Jane was so confused. While she did drink, Maura drank much more and neither hurt each other…until now. She felt the barrel of the gun against her head. Jane started to cry. Why was Maura acting like this?

"Maura baby. Please whatever I did…I'm I'm sorry…please don't shoot me…please!" Jane begged. Jane had been in countless perils and never once begged for her own life. Even with Hoyt, Jane hadn't begged but now she would do anything, say anything to not have Maura pull that trigger.

"Shut up!" Maura yelled.

Jane did as she was told and noticed Maura hesitating. She was still too scared to move. She felt herself being pulled up. She was put back down and saw Maura. Maura was staring at her. Jane coughed up blood and it landed on Maura. Maura became furious and pushed Jane back onto the floor. She put the gun back to Jane's head and looked at the mirror.

Maura's arm muscle tightened and Jane knew that was a bad sign.

"Maura…I love you."

A gunshot echoed through the room.

* * *

Maura looked at the gun in her hands. She looked at Jane on the floor and to the now broken mirror that she shot. Maura threw the gun and sobbed at the realization of what she did…what she almost did. Maura sank to the ground and Jane crawled to her. Jane sat in front of her but didn't touch her. Maura looked at Jane's face. Jane had a large bruise on her head and a hurt jaw. Blood leaked from her mouth onto the floor.

Maura trembled as she realized what she did. She grabbed Jane's hand and punched herself in the face with it. Jane pulled away from her.

Jane stood then moved to the bed. She whimpered in pain as she tried to lay down. Jane closed her eyes. Maura sobbed on the floor.

* * *

Jane's body relaxed some. Maura stood and faced away from Jane.

"Jane?" Maura asked, her voice very small.

Jane grunted and sat up.

"I'm sorry and I should go." Maura started.

"Get over here." Jane said as Maura began to leave.

Maura walked over to the side of the bed but still couldn't look Jane in the eyes. She was no better than her father. She didn't get on the bed but didn't move either.

"Why? Maura what did I ever do to you?"

Of course Jane would blame herself. Maura thought. She didn't want to tell Jane the truth but knew she had to. She had to explain it to Jane. She sighed and looked into Jane's eyes. Jane looked away from her.

Maura stood at the end of the bed. She closed her eyes and turned around. Jane stared at her confused. Once Maura was sure Jane was looking she undid the blazer and threw it somewhere. She then unbuttoned her dress shirt and took the shirt, her wife beater, and her bra. She threw them in a pile and stood with her back to Jane. Jane gasped and put her hand to her mouth.

* * *

Maura stood quietly as Jane stared at her abused back. Most of Maura's back had lashes across it. Some were long. Some were short. Some were superficial. Most were quite deep. Maura also had several strange circle scars on her back. Jane started to cry. She wasn't prepared for the amount of pain Maura had to live through.

"Remember when you asked me about my past?" Maura said.

"Maura…" Jane said. She didn't want Maura to feel forced.

"He was a hateful father." Maura said.

"Did he…" Jane couldn't even vocalize it.

Maura nodded and still refused to look at Jane. Jane sat up and crawled to Maura. She put her arms around Maura and she tensed.

"Baby it's just me." Jane assured.

Maura relaxed and sat on the edge of the bed. Jane ran her hand down Maura's back and Maura finally broke. She sobbed and Jane held her.

* * *

After calming down Maura continued to talk.

"He was a drunk. He'd beat me just because. I would sometimes make him mad to get him away from my mom. Sometimes he'd tie me to the bed face down then take his belt and beat me with it. I remember my back would bleed for days."

Jane rocked Maura back and forth for a moment. Maura looked up and smiled.

"The older I got, the worst the beatings were. My mother tried to protect me so he'd beat her instead. When I was ten she was beaten to death. I remember my father picking me up at school and driving forever."

Maura sobbed harder. She knew that he hurt her but never said anything.

"He drove me out of state and we lived on the run for some time. The abuse never stopped though."

Maura was silent for a minute. She looked at Jane and the abuse she caused. She couldn't help but feel guilty. She leaned into Jane's embrace.

"Sometimes he'd lay out his belt, a stick and a wrench and say choose."

"Ah gotta go with the belt." Jane interrupted.

"Nah. I went with the wrench." Maura admitted.

"Why?" Jane asked.

"Because fuck him that's why." Maura said.

Maura shuttered at the pain. She laid against Jane for some time as the memories came back.

* * *

_Maura sat scared and alone in her room. The monster was moving around down stairs. She packed her backpack and was ready to leave she just needed to wait a little longer. Just a few more minutes and she'd be free. She would run into the woods and far away from this secluded life. She listened carefully for movement. _

_She knew her father would pass out soon. She put on her backpack and quietly opened the door._

_Just a little longer. Her father sat on the chair._

_Just a little longer._

_3…_

_2…_

_1…_

_The beer in his hand fell._

_NOW!_

_Maura ran as quickly and quietly as she could. Her shoes didn't make noise on the carpet. She ran past her father and went to unlock the door._

_Click._

_Boom!_

_Maura was thrown across the room into a glass cabinet. She stumbled to her feet and saw her father standing there. He grabbed her by her shirt and raised her up. She kicked but didn't beg. _

"_Running away bitch?"_

_He choked her and slapped her face._

"_That'll teach you to disrespect me." He said._

"_You're a drunken bastard. Why did they give me to you?"_

"_The money."_

"_The money?"_

"_Yeah you were simply auctioned off to the highest bidder. The orphanage you were at was underground. Whoever pays the most gets the brat."_

_Maura kicked him between his legs. He dropped and whimpered. He grabbed her by the hair and dragged her into the kitchen. He held her down and grabbed grease. He ripped off Maura's shirt and poured some on the grease on her. It traveled down her right eye to her neck and breast. He took a lighter and lit the grease. _

_Maura screamed in agony and her father laughed._

"_You're a worthless rat. Nobody wants you. Not your mother, not the orphanage and not me. My wife tried to challenge me and I had to put her in her place. That little bitch. A women must submit to a man as a daughter must submit to her father." _

"_Enough!" Maura pulled out a knife from her pocket and shoved it into his heart killing him instantly. Maura shoved him off of her and went to wash off the grease. The fire had stopped but had burned Maura's eye completely out, her neck, her right breast and much of her torso. _

_Once the grease was washed off she turned back to her father. She looked at his corpse and growled in disgust. He had a quick death while she and her mother had to suffer. _

"_She was not a bitch. She tried unlike you." Maura spat at him. _

_Maura walked out of the house and looked around. They lived in a very secluded part of the woods. The nearest town was 5 miles away. _

_She could run but she had a better idea. She went inside and grabbed some food and a survival knife. On the way out she grabbed a lighter. She slammed and locked the door. She went to the shed and grabbed a container of oil. She poured oil around the outside of the house. She stood back and smiled. Maura flipped on the lighter and held it for a moment looking at the flame. She smirked and laughed deeply._

"_Burn in hell you fucker!" she screamed into the dark forest. She threw the lighter and set the house on fire. _

"_Oh yeah burn baby burn!" Maura laughed darkly and loudly. She needed to leave so turned and ran deep into the forest. _

_She turned back one last time. She couldn't see the house but saw the orange flame. Fuck you dad. She thought before running off with a smile on her face._

* * *

"Maura babe you ok?" Jane's voice cut through Maura's memory.

"What happened?" Maura asked.

"You were telling me about your childhood when you had a flashback or something."

"Oh. Well these scars aren't the worse."

Jane looked at her in surprise. Maura sighed and separated herself from Jane. She turned to show Jane the scar from the grease. Jane looked sick. She couldn't look Maura in the eyes. Maura looked down and put her hand to her right eye. She fished for a moment and then pulled her eye out.

"Maura what the fuck?" Jane said when she looked up to see Maura having only one eye. Jane was scared for a moment. Maura held the glass eye in front of her.

"This is my worst scar. I lost my right eye and can only see out of my left." Maura said.

Jane was curious and took the glass eye. She was careful not to break it. It looked like something that belonged in a freak show. Maura told her the story of the fire and of killing her father. None of that mattered to Jane. While she was a cop and while murder was wrong she never felt remorse for child abusers.

"Well anyway after that from 14 to 18 I lived on the streets. I did some things that I'm not proud of and was in and out of jail. I was able to survive by being tough and my street fighting style earned me the name "two hands." I fought only for myself, lived only for myself and loved only myself. It was a dark time but I was able to find a new purpose in life and turned it around."

Jane looked at Maura. She was so confused. She was dating a murder and ex con but everyone deserves a chance to change. Maura certainly had changed. She knew it was wrong and went against police ethics but she didn't care she loved Maura. She signed up for the whole package. It was apparent that Jane wasn't the only one with scars.

Maura held Jane close and cried deeply. She hurt Jane and didn't deserve a chance. She released Jane and looked at her. She grabbed some ice and her med kit. Jane laid back down and waited.

* * *

Jane held the ice that Maura gave her and Maura sat away from her. Jane's jaw fortunately wasn't fractured so Maura just popped it back into place. Maura stood and headed for the door. She didn't deserve to be with Jane physically or in a relationship. Jane made a strange whining sound. Maura stopped.

"Maura don't go." Jane begged.

"Jane I don't deserve to be with you. I'm a killer. The street rat that nobody wanted but worse than that I'm an animal. I'm an abuser and you'll be safer without me." Maura argued.

"Fuck all that." Jane said.

Mura still didn't turn around.

"What?" She asked.

"Yeah you're a murder and yes you had a shitty childhood but I love you and I don't care about that."

"But do you realize how easy it would be to kill you. I couldn't live with your blood on my hands. I'd rather be back in prison than even think about that. Who knows when I'll snap again? I might not be able to snap out of it next time. I might mistake you for my father and end you killing you. I can't even look at you after what I did. I..I.." Maura was stumbling and trying to control her anger.

"It's not your fault." Jane said.

That was enough to make Maura turn around. Maura stared at Jane and Jane could clearly see her holding back something.

"I know." Maura deadpanned.

"No you don't know. It's not your fault."

"I know."

"Maura you're not listening. It's not your fault."

"Don't you fuck with me. Not you Jane."

"It's not your fault."

"Don't fuck with me!"

"It's not your fault."

Maura lost it and cried. She could never be strong in front of Jane.

"Maura I don't blame you for what happened. I never did. You may need help but I love you."

Maura went to the bed side and looked at Jane.

"I love you too but I don't deserve a second chance."

Jane sat up and offered her arms to Maura. Maura hugged her.

"Maura, it's not about what you deserve. It's about what you need. You need me as much as I need you. Please I know with time you can put this behind you. I know that you are loving but you need help. Please I want to make it work."

Maura felt something she hadn't before. She felt the need to fight these demons. The need to fight for someone other than herself. It wasn't for her but she had to fight them for Jane and to save their relationship. She knew it would take time and wanted to show Jane how committed she was.

"Maura will you try for me?"

Maura kissed Jane deeply pouring her love and appreciation and patience into the kiss.

"Does that answer your question?" Maura said after pulling away. Jane nodded.

"Jane if you give me this chance, it will be a lot of work. You'll need to be patient with me and I may be different for a while."

"Maura no one is perfect. I don't care what needs to happen. I'll help you as long as you promise to try."

"I'll try but I aint seeing no fucking therapist."

Jane patted the bed and Maura sat in it. Jane snuggled next to her. Maura held Jane tightly. Maura looked at the clock. 10:00 p.m.

"Babe, I'm sorry I ruined your plan." Maura said sincerely.

"Maura, it's fine. This was a much more productive birthday anyway. Thank you for opening up to me."

"I should be thanking you. You believe in me and talking helps."

They laid in silence for a bit.

* * *

"Maura?"

"Yes Jane?"

"Ma said you blew out the candle on a cup cake she gave you earlier."

"Yeah what about it?"

"What did you wish for?"

Maura grunted. Jane rubbed her back. The pain meds Maura gave her helped with the pain on her face. She can never blame Maura and loved her. As much as Maura wanted to go back to jail, Jane knew it wouldn't help. Maura was a victim not a monster and she was willing to give Maura whatever she needed but jail would only make it worse. She was brought out of her thoughts by Maura saying something.

"What?"

"Every year I asked for the same thing and now I finally have it."

"What's that?"

"To not be alone on my birthday."

"Aww. That's so sweet." Jane said and cuddled closer to Maura. Jane fell asleep.

Maura stared at the ceiling then at the window. There was a full moon in Boston and she followed the light beam to the pile of glass. She sighed. She loved Jane and finally had someone to spend her life with. She knew this was a sign. Jane had given her another chance and she would make damn sure that she utilized it. She kissed the abrasions and bruise on Jane's face then held her in her protective arms.

Maura felt demons in the room. Both her's and Jane's. She wasn't sure how long it would take but would fight her demons. For them. She was overwhelmed finally having something stable in her life. She felt warm, she felt safe, but most importantly she felt loved.

She held Jane closer as the light from the moon illuminated the pair. For now they were safe from the demons.

Maura whispered "Thank you Jane" then closed her eyes.

Maybe birthdays weren't so bad after all.

FIN


End file.
